Time to Point Fingers.. HaHa!

babycentre says this about being 17 weeks pregnant:

"You may be gaining weight rapidly at this point, even if you're not eating much. Experts say that the amount of weight you put on during pregnancy is dictated primarily by your genes, so don't necessarily blame yourself if the weight's accumulating faster than you'd like. "

Haha! Now I can blame my ancestors for my weight gain. Hehehe...

I loike...

At 16 Weeks...

1. I'm getting bigger (sideways, front and back).

2. I still can't let myself run around on empty stomach (small portion but frequent is the secret).

3. Boobs getting bigger (i like .. haha).

4. Boobs start to discharge liquid.

5. Terrible back-ache

6. Sleeping is only comfortable when there is a mountain of pillows on my head (if sleeping on my back) or a pillow (or daddy **grin**) between the leg and another to support the tummy (if sleeping sideways)

7. Stomach getting bigger.

8. Can feel tiny kicks and/or punches (sometimes).

9. Smaller range of food taste yucky (thank god).

10. Growing appetite for junk/fast food (not good. not good at all. bad mommy!!!).

11. Less tired (more horny.. haha!)

12. Face still full of ugly pimples and oily (no changes there).

13. Old stretchmarks getting obvious (and ugly).

Appealing... no?

A Nudge Here and There

There was a nudge here. Later a nudge there. I was attributing it to gas pushing up my esofogus while bending down. Then a few days later there was a hard mildly painful bump at the side of my stomach. Later the same bump on the other side of my stomach.

Hmm...

I'm only 15 weeks weeks pregnant then. Could it be the baby moving? Could it be the baby telling me to give it some room inside?

Hmm...

i can't remember when I started to feel Adlan and a'aliya moved. But I was quite sure it was more than 4 months old. but then Baby centre says:

Starting this week, any stomach rumblings you feel may be your baby trying out some acrobatics, since she can now move all her limbs.

Hmm...

but during my monthly check up, the baby was doing summersault and practicing ball kicking inside. Perhaps, it was the baby that I felt...

Wow... I can actually feel the baby move at 4 months... ada harapan lasak anak aku yg sorang ni...

*****

On another note, at 4 months, I can still wear my normal clothes although its a bit tight here and there (especially my tummy and below). How come during the previous 2 pregnancies, I had to start wearing maternity clothes at this stage?

It all begs the question of whether I was not growing as big this time around

OR

I am already big enough BEFORE I was pregnant

*horror*

Inside My Head

I'm at 13 weeks now and counting. Hopefully my baby will have a relatively stress free journey in side the womb (its stressful enough for mommy to be having horibble nightmares, let the baby have a stress filled days).

I do have fears. Even after 2 pregnancies.

I'm still afraid of the unknown. I'm afraid for the well being of the baby inside my womb. I can't see my baby, I can't touch my baby, I can't tell if my baby is happy or stressed or in danger inside my body.

I'm afraid of the probabilities of complications during labour. I know, still a long way to go but the fear is there. How will I cope? Can I go through the c-sec if need be? Can I bear the pain while nursing for a child?

What if I fail in my attempts to breastfeed? I failed in my first attempt and felt like a failure. My second attempt was relatively successful and it kinda paid back for my own feeling of failure. But what if I am not as successful as my 2nd attempt. What if I failed miserably worst than my first attempt?

What if the demands of work, being a mother to a kid, a toddler and a baby, having to make sure the house feels like home while at the same time having a wife duty and a daughter duty to attend to proves too much for me? What if I crumble over the pressure? What if I can't cope?

All the what-ifs are a poison swirling in my head... yes I know that. But I still can't help thinking about them. Sometimes I don't dwell on them, sometimes I totally ignore those thoughts. But at some other time, the thoughts keep repeating itself inside my head.

*****

On a lighter note (i wish!), I envy those pregnant mothers who still look stunning. Even their bumps look gorgeous.

Me? I look more and more like a beach whale. Not at all attractive. I have yucky oily full of red small pimpled skin. Stretchmarks all over my body thanks to 2 previously oversized pregnancies. All the comfy clothes (including inner wear meant for a pregnant lady) doesn't exactly exudes sexiness and beauty. How can one look (and feel) beautiful and sexy with huge grandma panties, big pants with pouches (meant for the growing stomach), huge unattractive clothes?

When I look into the mirror, all I see is a hugely fat and short pregnant woman with a terrible skin. Where's the sexiness in there?

(actually, I do have a confession, out of all these, I absolutely adore my new boob size. Feels heavier, looks fuller and most importantly, its big :D ).

And I'm only in my 3rd month. And its embarrasing to tell people exactly how far I've been pregnant.

Can you imagine how big I'll be come my due date? I'll be as big as the blue whale.

I envy those model like pregnant ladies. How on earth do they do that is beyond me. But then again, those beauties are beautiful even when they are not pregnant. So go figure!

I can never be all that... oh well...

*****

Ramblings from a woman who feels very unattractive today...

12 weeks pregnant

How am I feeling nowadays?

Well, the tiredness is still there but not that severe like the first few weeks. I'm getting backpains and now has resorted to sleeping with 3 stacked pillow and a booster behind my back. Its difficult for me to lie flat on my back as I will feel suffocated.

My tummy is definitely getting bigger for 3 month old! I get tired easily by just going up or down the stairs. The choking feeling is still there. All type of liquid still feels yucky to me so you can imagine how difficult it is for me to dehydrate myself this time around. Not a single type of drink appeal to me especially the yucky after taste that can definitely induce a gagging session. Its still difficult for me to see or smell poop so when Kakak Aliya demanded that mommy washes her bottom, it can become difficult.

Eating is bearable at the moment. I just realised that my stomach cannot be left empty at all time but at the same time cannot be too full. Too empty, I will be so full of wind that the effect would be a severe nausea. Too full and the effect will be just the same. So I just have to eat in small portion frequently. Thing is, I can't allow myself to vomit because, vomitting will reduce me to a vegetable and unable to function. That is something that I cannot afford to do.

My face is still full of ugly small red pimples. Feels like sandpaper. My stomach and breasts start to itch. And no, I did not lather any kind of lotion on my tummy coz the stretchmarks are already there by virtue of the previous 2 pregnancies even after copious amount of vitamin e lotions were smoothered onto my poor belly. What's the point?

I think I'm carrying a boy this time around. Why? Because I'm such a lazy cow. Not even a talcum powder on my face, not a single lipstick to lighten up my face, I don't even use perfumes nowadays. And if you drop by my house, please don't be shocked by the condition (no, our house was not ransacked, it just is... haha)

Hopefully, the 2nd trimester will be smooth sailing. BTW I am getting bigger by the moment. I'm not proud of it but what can I do? I just am...

10 weeks old

First check up today.

weight: 64.3kg (oo-ohh)

week: 10 weeks 2 days

B/P: 100/70

The tiny voice in my head is worried...

Last week was a challenging week for pregnant me. With Kakak admitted to the hospital, it was a double dosage of stress to my body what with the hormones wrecking havoc to my system. I am constantly tired as it is and caring for a sick child escalate the condition even more. There was one point where I was throwing up every hour at the hospital while Kakak was whailing in pain. It was very stressful to the body and mind.

The sight and smell of anything triggered my vomit frenzy. It doesn't help that Kakak was admitted for vomitting and dhirrea. By the time Kakak was discharged, I was flat out and my body seized to function properly.

We have both recovered. However, I'm a bit concerned coz the vomit frenzy sensation has mysteriously disappear. The nausea is still there. The choking feeling is there there but there is no more "running-to-the-toilet-to throw-up" episodes.

If this is it, then this vomit frenzy days would be the shortest among the three pregnancy. Lasted only a week? Doesn't sound right...

Also, I have not had my bump checked out yet. Have not decided when to start my monthly check up. The peculiar thing and this has me teeny weeny bit worried (other than the lack of throwing up - not that i particularly enjoy those sessions!) is that my bump has not grown as it did the previous 2 pregnancies. There's a definite bump alright but the bump is getting firmer and rounder but doesn't grow. And there's this on and off cramping sensation below the belly. Feelings I didn't have the last 2 pregnancies. My reading says its normal but the little voice inside my head is still worried.

Perhaps I should just go and get it check huh? Better be safe...

With A Vengance

Who was it that said she has yet to feel nausea?

Who was it that said morning sickness has not come visiting yet?

Who was it that said she feels normal?

Padan muka sendiri.

The vomitting comes with a vengance. Everything smeels bad. Everything has a vomit induce smell. Everything taste yucky, metallic and steel-ish.

The worst part (which I didn't quite remember before) is the really horrible taste of the asidic yellowish vomit that I have to force out every morning.

Hubbs says this is one of the joy of pregnancy, a condition that I won't get if I'm not pregnant...

YEAH RIGHT!

I will let you have this experience willingly, without a second thought. You are welcome to take this feeling off me hon... anytime.

How Come...

A plate of mee goreng that used to look so appetizing feels yucky going down my throat? (amazingly, no puking sensation on the horizon... yet)

2 pieces of kuih have me feeling full to the brim?

My stomach remains the same size but looks rounder? (now I have an excuse for the 'buncit-ness')

I can walk faster (in 3 inches heels) than the normal non-pregnant ladies in flats but gets breathless getting up from my chair?

(that mee goreng still feels yucky even after a few hours...)

6 weeks pregnant - Mild Cramps and No Appetite... STILL

How your baby's growing
By the end of the week, your baby is about the size of a small bean. If you could see inside yourself, you'd find the fetus has an oversized head in proportion to its body. The embryo's facial features are forming with dark spots where the eyes are, openings where the nostrils will be, and pits to mark the ears.

Protruding buds that will become the arms and legs are even more noticeable now. The embryo's hands and feet look like paddles. Other developments include the growth of the pituitary gland and muscle fibres. You can't hear it yet, but the heart (which has divided into the right and left chambers) is beating at about 150 beats a minute -- twice the rate of yours.

Halfway through this week, the embryo makes its first movements. Unfortunately, you'll have to wait until sometime in the second trimester before you get to enjoy feeling your baby's exercise

*****

Been having stomach cramps on and off for a while. Even while sitting down. Even when doing absolutely nothing. And I found out today that long walks aggravates the pain a little bit more especially at the midriff instead of the normal left or right side of the abdomen. Its uncomfortably painful but bearable. This is something new. I wonder if this is normal.

According to babycentre its normal to be having this pain as it is a sign of the uterus growing to accomodate the growing baby inside. Makes me wonder, haven't I grown enough the last 2 pregnancies? I was HUGE! Don't my uterus grow as much?

Not the time to worry yet I suppose since all other danger signs are not there (what are the danger signs? Click at the link, You'll find out)

So far the pain is mild and short. Rubbing the painful part helps to ease the pain a little. Just have to bear with it I guess. As long as the baby is all right, I'm happy.

*****

As for my appetite, the absence is still a shock to my system. Nowadays I'm eating out of necessity. Mainly for the baby. And that is JUST NOT ME!

Nausea is also not happening just yet. Maybe soon. But I do have that choking feeling once in a while.

So far this is bearable (ohh.. except looking in the mirror at the ugly pimpled oily face. The beautiful aura of a pregnant lady has yet again deserted me. Yes, I'm doomed to face the ugly side of hormones gone wild every single pregnant life I have... boo hoo).

Side note:

Not a nice feeling to feel when i feel like i can't whine and complaint about the pain :(

Not the Usual

No appetite to eat.

Not really hungry as I should.

No excessive peeing.

No choking feeling.

No nausea.

Previous two pregnancies, I was having all symptoms. Not having them makes me feel a bit uneasy. Probably its too early to feel anything eh?

But I do feel more tired than usual...

Can I sleep now?

Trivia About the Imans Knowing About the Baby

Adlan is calling himself Abang.

A'aliya has started calling herself Kakak.

Adlan wants a kid brother.

A'aliya doesn't want adik. But she wants a baby. No gender preferance - yet.

Adlan has named the baby "Daniel Osman" (after a minor interrogation, it was revealed that Daniel is his kindergarden friend).

Adlan is calling mummy's tummy "Baby Daniel".

*****

And all that happened in a span of 1 day after they were told the good news (not sure if this would be a good news to A'aliya though coz later she will realise that the attention will no longer exclusively be hers).

4 weeks pregnant

From Babycentre:

Your baby will be born on or around Tuesday, October 6, 2009.

You are about 4 weeks pregnant.


*****

Oh yes... according to 2 past experiences, the bout of nausea and vomiting will come a knocking soonnn.. oh.. in about 2-3 weeks time.

Yikes!

And One Makes Three

52 days since the last period.

Pimply face on an otherwise smooth skin.

Bout of eating spree.

Feeling heavy.

Getting heavy.

2 negative tests.

Getting asked "dah period?" every morning for the past 2 weeks.

Finally:



Yipee :D