Wednesday, September 25, 2013

1st Trimester

I'm telling you now. IF you ever wanna expand your family, do it before your 35th birthday please.

Its cruel to subject your body to such extreme condition at this age. I may think and act perasan young but the body is not fooled. Extreme tiredness ALL THE TIME. The first few weeks after the blue line appeared was the most cruelest. There is a mattress in front of the telly in the hall fo rme to land the moment I enter the house. And that's where you will find me until bedtime where I will then proceed to continue land on until the next morning. 

Repeat.

Sigh... The family gets neglected. The house is neglected. Mr hubbs is neglected. Not by choice but I just don't have the energy to do anything else. The journey from the front door to the mattress is taxing enough that it renders me invalid the whole night. 

And the food! blergh! everything and anything taste yummy while I'm chewing. The moment I stop chewing, the after taste is just horrible. Horrible I tell you! Hence I have to force myself to chew and chew and eat and eat just to avoid getting that horrible taste in my mouth. Everything taste metalic-ish. All liquid makes my tongue feels horrible. Everything makes me wanna puke.

I didn't actually puke a lot this time around. But I would rather puke than carrying this nausea feeling all the time. Its draining the energy feeling having to puke but not quite.

One time, I did puke and it was horrible. Everything came out like waterfall and I can't even breath. Like there was an automatic floodgate that was opened and nothing can stop it until everything is gone. Oh. Don't let me go on about that horrible asidic greenish puke. Yuck. And I my throat and stomach would hurt bad right after. Drinking would make me puke. Not drinking would make the throat more painful.

I don't know why people love being pregnant. I honestly don't.

Another difference that I faced this time around is that whatever symptoms I have, mr hubbs has it too. That metalic-ish taste of liquid especially plain water. Yup, he taste that too. That feeling of being constantly hungry. Yup he feels that too. The tiredness, the lethargic, the nausea, the heartburn. Yup, he has all of those although at a lesser degree.

What can I say except "welcome to my world". Secretly, I love the fact that he's having the same symptoms. It means that our lives are so intertwined and that we are acutely aware of the presence of each other that he mimicked the feelings that I have. That is love to me... ^_^

All those horrible feelings are at the worst during the first few weeks. But now that I'm nearing the end of the 1st trimester (i think), its not that bad anymore. I don't feel like extremely tired or puking everytime after I eat. The metalic-ish taste is lesser. I can now drink plain water. After taste of food taste slightly better. And I'm not that lethargic all the time anymore. Boleh la nak sidai2 baju, nk kemas2 barang sikit2.

I have been craving for hot and spicy and sour food. Sambal belacan, cili. Nando's angry mango (slurp). And sweet things. but no chocolate please. Those makes me puke immediately. Although magnum ice-cream looks so yummy. sob sob. And this baby has one hell of expensive taste in food. Nak makan taste mat saleh je. Italian, western, cheesy food etc.. 

And like Aydin, I eat both asam manis and sweets. So not helpful in indicating the gender of the baby yet. 

I have not been seeing a Dr yet. What's the point? I already know that I'm pregnant. I'm taking my folic asic (if I remember). I have my vitamin c + calcium daily (heaven sent since I can't take milk due to my eczema and soya is just yucky). My gums still bleed when I brush my teeth. 

And the weight gain! Oh. My. God!!! Would you believe me if I said that I have gained a total of approximately 9kg the past 2 months? Yup NINE freaking KILOGRAMS! And its only the 1st trimester. Lets do math. If I gain 10kg every trimester, I will gain a total of approximately 30kg for the whole duration.

GASP!

sigh... Tell me again which part of pregnancy is enjoyable?


How It All Begin... for the Fourth Time...

Well, truth be told, I don't really want to expand my cozy little family. To me we are already at the perfect size. Also because serik wooo dengan Aydin that makes me feel like I have 3 mischievous twins to take care of at the same time.

However, despite saying "tak nak", we never took on any kind of precautions. I was on the pill before but after too frequent bleeding, I went for numerous checkups to see what was wrong and I discovered that I have polyps. Its only an extra piece of meat (?) hanging from my womb like stalactite but it feeds on estrogen from the pills that I took, hence it became active and bleed just like normal period walhal bukan darah period pun and it will grow since it is sufficiently fed. Therefore, I decided to stop the pill. Other alternatives were not that appealing for us. I refuse to go for implants or injections coz my weight would just shoot up like there is no tomorrow. IUD is simply scary. The rubber is just not attractive enuf for either of us. And withdrawal? what withdrawal? tee hee hee... so we just carried on happily tempting fate. 

Well, after 4 years of being tempted, Fate took the bait. #padanmukaaku.

How did I know? for the first time, there was not a single sign except for the rapid increase of weight. I have been taking a slimming product and half a year now and the only product that was successful to reduce and control my weight. I have been losing weight and no increase since the last half a year. so it came as a surprise that right after Hari Raya Puasa, I gain some weight. Then out of a sudden despite consuming the product, I gained more. I stopped thinking that probably my body need to take a break from the product for a week or so. But after the break, and while still consuming the product, i kept putting on weight. At the same time, just before the weight gain, I was having all the PMS symptoms but just as sudden, PMS passed but no period. However, since I have a long cycle of 45 days, I was still within the cycle. But it became even more suspicious because all other PMS symptoms stopped except the painful breasts. It was damn painful. Even the slightest touch was painful (imagine the frustration of a man named mr hubbs. hehe).

The weird thing is the normal pregnant symptoms that I would get for all my 3 pregnancies was not present. In all my 3 pregnancies, my skin would break out so bad that my face would be filled with small pimples and becomes too oily to manage. However, this time around, my skin condition remains but my eczema became better. I have a very bad case of eczema on the top of my right foot. Its always damp and bloodied and itchy as hell. But during that time, it became dry and flaky.

After nearly a month, bought myself a test kit despite not being late for my period yet. Took the test on 24 August 2013.

When I was carrying Aydin, it took me 3 test kits and nearly going on to 6 weeks pregnant for the lines to appear. This time around, the line appeared loud and clear. No ifs or buts.

How I felt about it? It was expected. I kinda guessed that I am pregnant so it doesn't came as a surprise to see the lines appearing. If the lines didn't appear, that would be a pleasant surprise.

So, here goes 4th round... lets see what other interesting and different experience I will be having this time.

Thursday, September 19, 2013

How to Calculate Your EDD (Expected Delivery Date)

The average length of a pregnancy is 40 weeks, or 280 days, from the first day of the last normal menstrual period. Calculating the due date, or expected date of delivery, for a pregnancy is quite simple, then, if you know that date. 

Simply add nine months and seven days to the date (first day of the last normal menstrual period), and you've got your pregnancy due date.

In reality, though, few women give birth on their exact due date. About 80 percent of babies are born within ten days of the due date. That's a fairly large window, beginning ten days before the due date and extending out ten days after the due date. A pregnancy that occurs during this time period (between 38 and 42 weeks) is called full term.



For full article:
http://health.howstuffworks.com/pregnancy-and-parenting/pregnancy/issues/10005-how-to-calculate-your-pregnancy-due-date.htm

Saturday, August 24, 2013

And One Makes Four: Here we go again...

i guess the journey will start again and this blog will be alive for a while until the stork has deliver the goods.


Saturday, December 19, 2009

Oh My...

I've totally forgotten about this blog. Managing 1 blog is a handful let alone 2. Howver, I will not delete this blog coz it contains some posts which are not in my main blog.

To update:

Tengku Iman Aydin was safely born on 29.09.2009 after NINE DAYS overdue. I was induced as the obgyn was was worried that he might get old in my tummy and that may lead to complications later.

You can read all about the labour and the birth here

He is dominating my blog for obvious reason being the newest addition to my life and everything about my Budak Bulat are here

*****

So people, do come and visit me at http://my-imans.blogspot.com/. you are most welcome even if you are only passing through

Thursday, September 17, 2009

@ 39 weeksante natal check up

- Baby is weighing healthily estimated at 3.4kg.

- placenta in good condition.

- regular but not painful contractions (some are not even noticeable).

- baby still active and not engaged yet.

*****

After 2 births, I don't think I can still tell if I am in true labour. Anxiously waiting. But I vaguely remember how early labour contractions should feel like. I hope my memory serves me right at the right time.

Anyhow, my mom will be here by tomorrow, so at least there's backup - just in case.

*can't wait*

*silly grin*

Thursday, September 10, 2009

@ 38 weeks

- the baby is as healthy as he can be and estimated weight is approximately 3kg.

- i gained 0.3kg the last 2 weeks (yeay!).

- the placenta has degenerated a little - a sign that he has to come out soon.

- baby is still active and is still not engaged although he is in the right position (interior and upside down)

- although all physical signs of yeast infection has disappeared and i have tried to avoid using the medication that requires me to insert the medication down yonder, the obgyn advice to administer the medication because the infection may still be inside and it can pass to the baby during labour, not something you would want a baby to have as his first experience ain't it?

What I need to do now is... wait.

*****

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Is it Gonna Happen Soon?

@ 37 weeks:
Maybe. Signs of the approach of labour include:

• lightening (when the baby's head begins to drop into position in your pelvis); you may notice that you can breathe more deeply and eat more, but you'll also need to urinate more frequently = CHECKED

• vaginal discharge becomes heavier and more mucous = CHECKED

• more frequent and noticeably more intense Braxton Hicks contractions = CHECKED

• loose bowel = not happening yet...

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

False Abour vs True Labour and Early Signs

False Labor
i. Contractions don't get closer together.
ii. Contractions don't get stronger.
iii. Contractions tend to be felt only in the front.
iv. Contractions don't last longer.
v. Walking has no effect on the contractions.
vi. Cervix doesn't change with contractions.

True Labor
i. Contractions do get closer together.
ii. Contractions do get stronger.
iii. Contractions tend to be felt all over.
iv. Contractions do last longer.
v.Walking makes the contractions stronger.
vi. Cervix opens and thins with contractions.

our body normally gives us some signs a head of time that labor is on its way. While these are signs of progress the do not mean that you will go into labor within a few hours or days. They are simply a means of saying that your body is getting ready.

Some of these signs include:

1. A sudden burst of energy or the "nesting instinct"
2. Lightening or Dropping of the baby (you may be able to breathe easier and urinate more)
3. An upset stomach
4. Diarrhea
5. Bloody show (this may be the cervix beginning to open, or from sex or a vaginal exam)
6. Loss of your mucous plug (may come out in a chunk or you may just notice it slowly over a couple of days)
7. Weight loss
8. Slight increase in blood pressure

Perenial Massage to avoid episiotomy

If you wish to prepare your perineum for birth, we recommend that you start the perineal massage around your 36th week, every day for around 5 minutes.

What you need

You will need to use wheat germ oil or any natural vegetable oil, preferable cold pressed (not for cooking la) and rich in Vit E and F (essential to ensure and improve tissue elasticity). Linseed oil is a good choice.

There is an oil in the market specially made for this massage and manufacted by Weleda (refer to product link here - in French, unfortunately).

The massage

1) Wash your hands carefully with soap. Scrub under the nails and up till the wrists.

2) Sit yourself down somewhere and make sure that your back is supported with pillows. Lean back.

3) Rub your fingers well with oil; put the thumb in the vagina and massaged the region between the opening of the vagina and anus with the forefinger.

4) Then, with the thumb, still in the vagina, exert some pressure downward toward the rectum slowly.

5) While still exerting pressure, slide your thumb/finger along the vaginal walls, along muscles of the vagina and the perineum. Repeat this a few times.

6) You may feel muscle tension in the beginning, but with time and practice, the tissue will loosen gradually.

7) Be careful to relax your muscles and breath out when you exert pressure.

8) To end, massage the labia minora and majora as well (big and small "lips" - opening of the vagina la).

9) As you go on with the massage (after a few times), gradually increase the pressure (widening the vaginal opening) until you start to experience tingling in the perineum. You will recognize this tingling feeling at the time of labour when the perineum extends around the head of your newborn child.

Monday, August 17, 2009

Fasting while Pregnant??

Fasting month is fast approaching. I'm hoping that I'll be able to fast the whole 1 month. Its a privilege that comes only when I'm in advance stage of pregnancy (and that I can assure you is a rare occasion!)

Pregnant women are one of the exceptions to the rule of fasting in Ramadhan (provided it be replaced in another month)



But is it prohibited medically for women in advance stage of pregnancy like me?



Obviously not. But not all are encourage to fast for medical reasons:



because...





so fasting is allowed provided that the correct method is employed with regard food intake



and...



So my take on this:

Eat well, take my sahur, moderate intake, lots of fluid during the night, less movements and physical activities (including walking) and rest well...

Finger cross, hoping I can go through this Ramadhan smooth sailing. Amin

Sunday, August 16, 2009

34 weeks

As of the latest check-up on 13.08.09:

I'm now in my 34th week of pregnancy. Wow... not that long to wait eh?

I only gained a mere 0.5kg the past 1 month (yeayyyyy!)

Its a boy!!!

***

Just pack babies' things in a bag. Now I'm excited... :)

Can't wait... :)

Saturday, June 20, 2009

It Was A Suprise All Right!

Had my ante-natal check up today. Boy, it was interesting...

*****
Suprise No 1:
I did my week calculation properly according to my period cycle and according to my calculation I'm suppose to be 24 weeks pregnant this week (or 6 months if people ask. And people only ask because they are expecting me to give birth next month just by looking at the sheer growth I'm sporting nowadays. But I disgress). Had my monthly check up today and all in all, it was a suprise. A pleasant and amusing suprise.

For one, it seems that my calculation is a bit off - off by 2 weeks it seems. According to the scan, I'm at my 26 weeks pregnant. 2 more weeks and I will enter the 3rd trimester.

How time flies...

But I swear my calculations was as accurate as it can be following my not normal period cycle. Apparently not.

Hence, it was a'heran' suprise looking at the monitor screen of the scan seeing that I am actually more or less 26 weeks pregnant. I was busy doing mental calculation and matching calendars while the doctor was busy probing and pushing my humongous belly and calculating bone mass and growth, etc (or whatever it is that they do while probing and pushing around the big belly filled with a tiny human).

OK, so whatever, I'm happy at any week as long as my baby is healthy and fine.

And 'he' seems fine. Or so I think.

Suprise No 2:
You see, up until this stage, we have yet to know the baby's gender. Not by choice but because the baby was too active for us to get a proper view. Adlan and A'aliya is having their own preference as to what gender the baby should be. Abang wants a baby boy whilst Kakak wants a baby girl. Seeing that both our family are predominatly male dominated (I'm the only girl of 4 siblings and Hubbs is the eldest of 6 boys amongst 7 siblings), I was anticipating a boy. My pregnant behaviour was also more inclined towards the inhabitant of my belly being another addition to the male population in our family (although it was inconclusive because I was potraying both the classic signs of having a boy and a girl. For example, I was craving for both sweet and sour taste at different times. I was sloppy half the time but makes a lot of effort to look nice at other times. I was both lazy and rajin depending on my mood. And for both previous pregnancies, it was definite. With Adlan I was sloppy, lazy and crave sugary sweets. With A'aliya it was all dolling myself up, cooking, cleaning, and a taste for asam. This time around, I'm having contrasting behaviour. Like I said, it was inconclusive).

However, it doesn't make any difference to me or hubbs what gender the baby is sporting. A boy is expected but a girl (although not really thought possible) would be a pleasant suprise. I was hoping that we could see this time whether I'm carrying a 'he' or a 'she'. No specific reason, its just that we would rather know early. I hate not knowing.

And yes, we finally know. It was a totally pleasant suprise because I was expecting to see scrotum and penis on screen and yet we saw the hamburger sign as clear as the bell. Save to say, I'm still feeling the suprise... hmm... another A'aliya on the horizon? (should I say OH NO!!! .. ??).

But it was not really a happy news for 1 person in particular.

Suprise No 3:
When the doctor told us the verdict, we translated it for the kids. A'aliya was smiling but Adlan to our suprise, cried. The soundless disappointment cry. It was amusing to say the least but my heart went out to him. He was so eagerly waiting for a baby brother that he even had a name for the baby when we broke the news that I was pregnant. And now in his mind, he has to deal with another A'aliya.

What else can I say. We'll just have to make sure that the eagerness is retained regardless of him having another kid sister to handle. A long and short but frequent motivational sessions are in order.

***

All in all, today was a pleasant and amusing suprise. I'm happy. Now I can browse through all the beautiful names for us to choose. I can still keep my hopes that this time around I can doll up my baby and get her to wear pretty cute clothes (which A'aliya is avoiding like a plague).

But one news which didn't come as a suprise - my weight. The doctor is scheduling me to go for another blood test because I'm gaining more than 2 kg a month. I told her its normal for me, I gain a kilo a week until the baby pops out. That's old news. But hey, she would rather we be safe than sorry. Fine by me.

And another news that had me teeny weeny bit worry. The baby's placenta is low lying. Hopefully, it will be in the right position at the right time.

Hopefully everything will be ok and smooth sailing.

Amin.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction (SPD)

I've never experience this kind of pain before. Its definitely painful. Googled and I found this info on several sites:

OK, before that, let me summarise them for you, in case you've caught the lazy bug:

1. the usually hard joints of pubic ligaments are soften by a hormon called relaxin. Result - joints jiggle about leaving gaps in the pubic area (hence the pain!!!)

2. No identified causes, or reason, they just happen. Some pregnant woman got it, some don't feel the pain.

3. Usually happens in the middle of pregnancy. i.e. 2nd trimester. Can continue post partum.

4. The pain concentrates at the lower part of the body, the pubic area, thigh, lower back and hips

5. Pain occurs when the legs are spread apart, pressure on one leg or lower back.

6. Pain killer might help. As do phisiotherapy.

7. Self help: keep the knees together (in other words, close those legs dear... no kangkang please). Sit down when wearing pants/undies. Buttocks first then leg and vice versa going in and out of car.

8. During labour, don't open your legs too wide especially if u are under epidural.

9. and oh yeah.. cannot prevent this from happening again...

*****

What is Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction (SPD)
The two halves of your pelvis are connected at the front by a stiff joint called the symphysis pubis and strengthened by a dense network of ligaments. Normally, very little movement occurs. However, when pregnant, a hormone called relaxin is released , which softens the ligaments in your pelvis. As a result, these joints move more during and just after pregnancy.

Causes still unsure but current thinking indicates that if one side of the pelvis moves more than the other when you walk or move your legs, this can lead to pain and inflammation at the symphysis pubis. Many women with SPD experience significant pain without any great separation of the joint -- the amount of pain isn't related to the degree of separation.

When does it happen?
SPD normally happens from the second trimester of pregnancy onwards, but can occur at any stage in any pregnancy, even if you've never suffered before. Many women notice their symptoms for the first time around the middle of their pregnancy. If you experience SPD in one pregnancy, it is more likely that it will reoccur in your next pregnancy. The symptoms may also come on earlier and progress faster, so it is important to seek help as early as possible. It can help if you allow the symptoms from one pregnancy to settle before trying to conceive another child.

What are the symptoms?
Pain in the pubic area and groin are the most common symptoms. Also pain in the inside of your thighs and sometimes in your lower back and hips or hip pain. It is common to feel a grinding or clicking in your pubic area and the pain may travel down the inside of the thighs or between your legs. The pain is usually made worse by separating your legs, walking, going up or down stairs or moving around in bed. It is often much worse at night and can stop you getting much sleep. Getting up to go to the toilet in the middle of the night can be especially painful. Sometimes there can be a clicking during hip movement felt or even heard. A tendency to shuffle along or waddle may develop as women try to distribute their weight evenly.

Treating SPD

• The best person to treat SPD is an obstetric physiotherapist

• The physiotherapist can give you a pelvic support garment to wear such as a belt or Tubigrip bandage, and crutches if walking is difficult. You'll also be given gentle exercises to help strengthen the muscles supporting the joint and general advice about posture and activities to avoid.

• Your doctor can prescribe safe painkillers to take in pregnancy, usually paracetamol.

• The most effective alternative therapies, according to the British SPD Support Group, include chiropractic and osteopathy which help to relieve joint pain.

• In most cases you'll be fully recovered in six months after giving birth, but if the pain continues, surgery to fix the joints together may be considered.

Self-help tips
• Avoid pushing through any pain. If something hurts, if possible don't do it. If this type of pain is allowed to flare up, it can take a long time to settle back down again.

• Move little and often. You may not feel the effects of what you are doing until later in the day or after you have gone to bed.

• Rest regularly by sitting reasonably upright with your back well supported.

• Avoid heavy lifting or pushing (supermarket trolleys can be particularly painful).

• When dressing, sit down to put on clothing such as your knickers or trousers. Pull the clothing over your feet and then stand up to pull them up. Don't try to put your legs into trousers, skirts or knickers whilst standing up.

• When climbing stairs, go up them one step at a time. Step up onto one step with your best leg and then bring your other leg to meet it. Repeat with each step.

• Avoid separating your legs and making straddling movements. Getting into a car by sitting on the seat first, and then lifting your legs inside. Reverse this procedure for getting out.If you need to separate your legs, do so slowly and carefully and keep your back arched.

• Avoid swimming breaststroke if you can and take care with other strokes. Swimming can often feel like it is helping whilst you are in the water but cause an increase in pain when you get out.

• Always having the knees together firmly when turning over in bed.

• Rest as much as possible. Take the body’s weight off the pelvis when you can. Try to have some daily bed rest.

• Where possible, sit down to do daily tasks like food preparation.

• Try to avoid twisting the upper body. Think ahead, turn and face the thing you are doing.

• Avoid straddling positions e.g. sit on a bidet as you would on a toilet.

• Avoid sudden jerky movements.

• Performing regular pelvic floor exercises (also called Kegel exercises) and lower abdominal exercises can help to reduce the strain of the pregnancy on your pelvis.

To perform a safe and easy lower abdominal exercise, get down onto your hands and knees and level your back so that it is roughly flat. Breathe in and then as you breathe out, perform a pelvic floor exercise and at the same time pull your belly button in and up. Hold this contraction for 5-10 seconds without holding your breath and without moving your back. Relax the muscles slowly at the end of the exercise.

How will it affect my labour?
• Make sure anyone attending you is aware that you have SPD. Your midwife should measure how far you can comfortably widen your legs at the onset of labour and ensure that you don't exceed this.

• If you have an epidural or spinal block injection, it's particularly important to ensure you don't exceed the comfortable gap as you won't be able to feel any damage you do.

• In very severe cases, an elective caesarean may be considered.

• Make sure you're in a comfortable position before any internal examinations are performed.

• Experiment with different positions for giving birth - kneeling on all fours, Lying on your side with the upper leg supported by someone, kneeling position with your torso fairly upright over several pillows, beanbags or such.

• Squatting positions are best avoided, and the lithotomy position (the on your back, knees bent and raised above the hips, thighs apart position often involving stirrups) can exacerbate pelvic pain. It is known to, among other things, put pressure on the coccyx, and is thought to be a potential cause of pelvic pain that presents itself postnatally. There are similar issues regarding the use of stirrups if any post partum stitching is required.

• Assisted delivery. You could specify a ventouse delivery (uses a suction cap on the baby’s head) instead of forceps, as this can be performed laterally.

• Some women feel that they cannot face the idea of adding to their pelvic pain by having a vaginal birth, and wish to opt for a caesarean. This should be very carefully discussed with health care professionals, as it is a major operation with its own drawbacks and issues.

The condition of SPD does no harm to the baby itself. It is purely a matter of the mother’s pelvic pain.

How soon will I recover from my SPD symptoms after the birth?
A recent study showed that around 60% of women with SPD still experienced some symptoms after delivery. Most women find that their symptoms improve after the birth of their baby although a small percentage still have pain when their babies are a year old. You should continue with physiotherapy after the birth and get help with looking after your baby during the early weeks if you can. Some ex-sufferers find they experience pain every month just before their period is due, which is caused by hormones which have a similar effect to the pregnancy hormone relaxin.

Can I avoid it happening again?
Unfortunately, there's no way of predicting whether you'll suffer in subsequent pregnancies, and if you do whether it'll be more or less severe than your first experience of SPD. However, if you have experienced it in one pregnancy, be aware of any signs of pain from the start of a subsequent pregnancy and see your midwife. Being referred to a physiotherapist early on and receiving treatment can help to reduce the pain as much as possible. "However, it's best to avoid a subsequent pregnancy until your baby is walking independently, as lifting your child will be especially difficult if you suffer SPD again.


*****

I guess, I just have to bear with the pain for a little while... in the meantime, I will reserve my right to complain at any time i like :)

Monday, May 25, 2009

Cest La Vie...

I was reading the review for a book by Jenny McCarthy titled Belly Laughs: the Truth about Pregnancy.

One line was of particular interest: A pregnant woman's fart can bring a man to his knees...

boy oh boy, Hubbs will definitely be nodding his head non-stop like a miniature dog with spring head in a moving car. The fart of a pregnant woman is so lethal that it can wake your partner up from a very deep slumber. Trust me, it has happened before (a couple of times I might add), or suffocate the occupants of a vehicle and induce a breathless situation (more like stop inhaling completely). It has become a frequent 'accident' that the kids will accuse their mummy (moi) whenever there are foul smell around.

Its not pretty. Its not rosy. And its definitely toxic to the senses.

and ladies, you don't want to smell the inside middle seams of your pants now do u? Its one thing to torture the sense of smell of loved ones but please don't subject your nose to the same torture *grin*

speaking of which, I'm in dire need of a couple of bras a few sizes up. My melons have grown by leaps and bounds (and in kg to!) (which I'm petty proud of seeing that my normal size are just peanuts, literally! Proud to the extend that I'm ensuring that these ripe melons - the public version- are adorning the screen of beloved hubbs hp... too much info? No?)

AND grandma panties *horror* - the breed that look horrible and defies the existence of sexiness to the extreme. Especially those huge panties (the more XXs the better) where the size be modified by a pull of a string (like the ones available with maternity pants). Extremy ugly. Extremely unsexy. Extremely comfy.

And the acnes? The volcano like acnes? Yup, still there. Still red. Still ugly looking as always. Proudly perch on both my once smooth-skinned cheeks (and forehead, chin, chest).

Oh.. Have I told you before that I hate skinny ladies. Especially skinny PREGNANT ladies. Its so unhealthy to be skinny when you are carrying a life inside (cheh... sourgrape talking). And why are all the mirrors and reflective surface so bend and determined to make me look fat? huh? huh? Have you even seen a penguin walk? You may be looking at me, u know. And don't let me start talking about the size of my behind. I think its growing to become an island. A medium sized island. I wonder how long I can travel through those doors without getting stuck... hmm...

And if my tits were detacheable, I may have to stock up on spare parts as I would sure to lose one or the other somewhere.

hmm...

Thursday, April 30, 2009

Time to Point Fingers.. HaHa!

babycentre says this about being 17 weeks pregnant:

"You may be gaining weight rapidly at this point, even if you're not eating much. Experts say that the amount of weight you put on during pregnancy is dictated primarily by your genes, so don't necessarily blame yourself if the weight's accumulating faster than you'd like. "


Haha! Now I can blame my ancestors for my weight gain. Hehehe...

I loike...

Friday, April 24, 2009

At 16 Weeks...

1. I'm getting bigger (sideways, front and back).

2. I still can't let myself run around on empty stomach (small portion but frequent is the secret).

3. Boobs getting bigger (i like .. haha).

4. Boobs start to discharge liquid.

5. Terrible back-ache

6. Sleeping is only comfortable when there is a mountain of pillows on my head (if sleeping on my back) or a pillow (or daddy **grin**) between the leg and another to support the tummy (if sleeping sideways)

7. Stomach getting bigger.

8. Can feel tiny kicks and/or punches (sometimes).

9. Smaller range of food taste yucky (thank god).

10. Growing appetite for junk/fast food (not good. not good at all. bad mommy!!!).

11. Less tired (more horny.. haha!)

12. Face still full of ugly pimples and oily (no changes there).

13. Old stretchmarks getting obvious (and ugly).

Appealing... no?

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

A Nudge Here and There

There was a nudge here. Later a nudge there. I was attributing it to gas pushing up my esofogus while bending down. Then a few days later there was a hard mildly painful bump at the side of my stomach. Later the same bump on the other side of my stomach.

Hmm...

I'm only 15 weeks weeks pregnant then. Could it be the baby moving? Could it be the baby telling me to give it some room inside?

Hmm...

i can't remember when I started to feel Adlan and a'aliya moved. But I was quite sure it was more than 4 months old. but then Baby centre says:

Starting this week, any stomach rumblings you feel may be your baby trying out some acrobatics, since she can now move all her limbs.

Hmm...

but during my monthly check up, the baby was doing summersault and practicing ball kicking inside. Perhaps, it was the baby that I felt...

Wow... I can actually feel the baby move at 4 months... ada harapan lasak anak aku yg sorang ni...

*****

On another note, at 4 months, I can still wear my normal clothes although its a bit tight here and there (especially my tummy and below). How come during the previous 2 pregnancies, I had to start wearing maternity clothes at this stage?

It all begs the question of whether I was not growing as big this time around

OR

I am already big enough BEFORE I was pregnant

*horror*

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Inside My Head

I'm at 13 weeks now and counting. Hopefully my baby will have a relatively stress free journey in side the womb (its stressful enough for mommy to be having horibble nightmares, let the baby have a stress filled days).

I do have fears. Even after 2 pregnancies.

I'm still afraid of the unknown. I'm afraid for the well being of the baby inside my womb. I can't see my baby, I can't touch my baby, I can't tell if my baby is happy or stressed or in danger inside my body.

I'm afraid of the probabilities of complications during labour. I know, still a long way to go but the fear is there. How will I cope? Can I go through the c-sec if need be? Can I bear the pain while nursing for a child?

What if I fail in my attempts to breastfeed? I failed in my first attempt and felt like a failure. My second attempt was relatively successful and it kinda paid back for my own feeling of failure. But what if I am not as successful as my 2nd attempt. What if I failed miserably worst than my first attempt?

What if the demands of work, being a mother to a kid, a toddler and a baby, having to make sure the house feels like home while at the same time having a wife duty and a daughter duty to attend to proves too much for me? What if I crumble over the pressure? What if I can't cope?

All the what-ifs are a poison swirling in my head... yes I know that. But I still can't help thinking about them. Sometimes I don't dwell on them, sometimes I totally ignore those thoughts. But at some other time, the thoughts keep repeating itself inside my head.

*****

On a lighter note (i wish!), I envy those pregnant mothers who still look stunning. Even their bumps look gorgeous.

Me? I look more and more like a beach whale. Not at all attractive. I have yucky oily full of red small pimpled skin. Stretchmarks all over my body thanks to 2 previously oversized pregnancies. All the comfy clothes (including inner wear meant for a pregnant lady) doesn't exactly exudes sexiness and beauty. How can one look (and feel) beautiful and sexy with huge grandma panties, big pants with pouches (meant for the growing stomach), huge unattractive clothes?

When I look into the mirror, all I see is a hugely fat and short pregnant woman with a terrible skin. Where's the sexiness in there?

(actually, I do have a confession, out of all these, I absolutely adore my new boob size. Feels heavier, looks fuller and most importantly, its big :D ).

And I'm only in my 3rd month. And its embarrasing to tell people exactly how far I've been pregnant.

Can you imagine how big I'll be come my due date? I'll be as big as the blue whale.

I envy those model like pregnant ladies. How on earth do they do that is beyond me. But then again, those beauties are beautiful even when they are not pregnant. So go figure!

I can never be all that... oh well...

*****

Ramblings from a woman who feels very unattractive today...